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• What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
  You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven.

• What do you call a 30week-old preemie?
  An Appetizer.

• What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on your porch?
  Matt.

• How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave?
  Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.

• What is red and pink and can't turn round in a corridor?
  A baby with a javelin through its throat.

• Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
  So you can pick them up five at a time

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Last modified: September 23, 2002

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